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Some quotes to hopefully brighten your day
Bart: Dad, remember when Tom had you in that headlock and you screamed, "I'm a hemophiliac: and when he let you go you kicked him in the back?
Homer: Yeah?
Bart: Will you teach me how to do that?
Homer: Sure boy, First you gotta shriek like a woman and keep sobbing til he turns away in disgust. That's when itts time to kick some butt
Lou: That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place
Wiggum: Forget it, thats two blocks away
Lou: Looks like ther's beer coming out of the chimney
Wiggum: I am preceeding on foot, call in a code eight
Lou: We need pretzels, repeat, pretzels
Lisa: Look,, theres only one way to settle this....rock/paper/scissors
Lisa's brain: poor predictable bart. Always takes rock
Barts brain: Good ol rock. Noth'n beats that
Bart: Rock!
Lisa: Paper!
Bart: D'oh!
Wiggum: Oh, uh, I'm on a road. Uh, looks to be ashpalt....um oh geez, trees, shrubs. I'm directly under the Earths sun.......now!
NASA man: Well Homer, I guess you win by default
Homer: De-fault. The two sweetest words in the english language
Marge: Homer, I really don't like you telling personal secrets in your class
Homer: Marge, I didn't tell em personal stuff
Marge: Today in the kwik e mart everybody knew I dyed my hair
Homer: Oh, you mean about YOU
Brockman: This is hour 57 of our live round the clock coverage outside the Simpson estate. Remember to turn ina 8 for highlights of todays vigil, including when the garbage man came and when Marge took the cat out. Pssibly because it was harassed, we don't know
Grandpa: I'm an elk, a mason, a communist....I'm president of the gay and lesbian alliance for some reason...ah, her it is, the stonecutters
Homer: Barney's film had feeling, but "football in the groin" had a football in the groin
Homer: ok don't panic. To find Flanders I just have to think like Flanders
Homer's brain: I'm a big four eyed lameo and I wear the same stupid sweater every day and --
Homer: The Springfield River!
Homer: Nobody knows the band Grand Funk? The wild shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? The bong rattling bass of Mel shocker? The competent drum work of Don Brewer?
Kent Brockman: This just in: Go to Hell!
Hank: Good afternoon gelntleman. this is scorpio. I have the doomsday device. You have 72 hours to deliever the gold or you face the consequences. and to prove Im not bluffing watch this
UN member: Oh, my God! The 59th street bridge
UN member 2: maye it just collapsed on its own
UN member: we can't take that chance
UN member 2: You always say that. I want to take a chance
Hank: You have 72 hours gentlemen
Kirk Van Houten: Can I borrow a feeling / Could you lend me a jar of love / Hurtin hearts need some healin / Take my hand with your glove of love
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Proud owner of the worst signature ever
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[Mr. Tanfan] has a small package
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The square is seldom if ever cool ... He is "not with it", that is, he doesn't know "whats happening." But if he manages to figure it out, he moves up a notch to "hip." And if he can bring himself to approve of what's happening, he becomes "groovy." And after that, with much luck and perseverence, he can rise to the rank of "cool."
-- Hunter S. Thompson
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