Originally Posted by Negotiator
My friends, though the journey has been long and strenuous, we are nearly arrived. Months has it been since we’ve cheered for touchdowns or berated our television screens with any degree of over-seriousness. It seems like ages since we’ve met for our weekly gatherings. And with the election bearing down on many of us, my friends, some of the things worth devoting time to feel like they’ve been forgotten.
Put simply, now is the time for change.
Starting this Saturday, our hope begins anew. We will see mere acquaintances and treat them as if they are our oldest friends. We will rally behind people we have never met, pursuing a goal few of us ever had any hope of achieving. We will partake in the nectars of the gods, be they foreign or domestic, canned or draft, yet still complain that they do not compare to Oberon. Except for the non-believers, who will lament that Oberon is overrated and then be shunned and ostracized until our inebriated memories forget their blasphemy ever transpired.
From the players and coaches to the band members and their directors to the students and alums there will be much analysis, almost all of it bunk. We will simultaneously jeer the likes of Valenti, Hondo, Staudt, and all the rest, chastising their commentary while silently wishing fate would bless us with jobs that enjoyable. We will skirmish with opposing teams’ message boards, demonstrating our self-perceived might to all who we think dare to oppose us.
We must always keep in mind those who have come before us, many of whom have lost their youthful appearances and the function of their livers. While they remain perpetually unsatisfied with the allure of the dance team and the enthusiasm of the students, we would do well to nod in reverence, for we will fill their shoes soon enough.
For now, though, let us all revel in the spectacle about to take place for our amusement. Twelve wonderful Saturdays in sheer irrational hatred of other educational institutions and their members. Twelve opportunities to revisit our memories of the promised land and better times. Twelve more chances to come together and celebrate the festival that is college football. And so I say to you, in the words of our forefathers and in the spirit of unity, let us descend upon East Lansing or the bar, let us cheer as one:
LET’S GO STATE!
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