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Old 06-21-2007, 03:11 AM   #1 (permalink)


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Off-topic Do you know a story topper?

I told this chick at work today that I had a migraine cuz she asked what's wrong. She proceeds to try to tell me how to fix it, then goes on to tell me that she's had one for over a week now. She does this all the time, no matter the story you tell her, she has to one-up you. Does anyone know someone like this?
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Old 06-21-2007, 05:59 AM   #2 (permalink)


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I know two people who do that.
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Old 06-21-2007, 06:00 AM   #3 (permalink)
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i dont know just one person like this - i know two people exactly like this!
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Old 06-21-2007, 06:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Rule Spartannia View Post
I know two people who do that.
well then i know three
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Old 06-21-2007, 08:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
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You guys are pathetic.

I NAILED 14 story-toppers. All better-looking than the crap pictures people post on here.

I'm also making 8 figures out of junior year, and rolling on Giovannis.
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:01 AM   #6 (permalink)


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I work in the contruction field, it is very common. Also, what really bugs me is the guy who says

"no, what you really need is..."

"No, that was not bad, what is really bad is..."

"No, what really hurts is.."

Anything you say, the reply starts with NO. Like what is happening to you is not important. bastard.
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:13 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
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they are super fun to **** with, though.
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Old 06-21-2007, 09:55 AM   #9 (permalink)


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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneWolfSparty® View Post
I've noticed that story toppers/know-it-alls tend to use the word "actually" an awful lot.
No, actually, I'm serious, they rarely say that. I'm sure, and I'm not kidding, this is real, that they say the word, "honestly" more often.
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Old 06-21-2007, 10:11 AM   #10 (permalink)
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This reminds me of the "one upper" commercials for axe effect.

"hey this salsa is pretty good"

"well have you tried imported green salsa, from...Guatemala?"

One uppers are funny, classic.
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Old 06-21-2007, 10:16 AM   #11 (permalink)
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they are super fun to **** with, though.
Agreed. Just telling them made up stories to see how they'll top them is pure entertainment.
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Old 06-21-2007, 10:18 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Agreed. Just telling them made up stories to see how they'll top them is pure entertainment.
and then subtly re-upping them back. pure hilarity.

i used to hate them, now i view them as an opportunity for fun!
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Old 06-21-2007, 10:48 AM   #13 (permalink)


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Speaking of story toppers:

As far as SNL skits go... this one is pretty decent.

Video Hilarious video - funny, stuff - Dailymotion Share Your Videos
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Old 06-21-2007, 11:04 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Comedian Brian Regan does a whole bit on the toppers. He says the ultimate topper is available only to a select few, "I walked on the moon".

Attack of the "Me Monster":
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Old 06-21-2007, 11:16 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Old 06-21-2007, 12:02 PM   #16 (permalink)
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and then subtly re-upping them back. pure hilarity.

i used to hate them, now i view them as an opportunity for fun!
One of the girls who lived on my dorm floor had a boyfriend who was taking the first semester off of school, moving to Florida and trying to become a professional golfer. He didn't golf much because he always seemed to be in Ann Arbor. He was one of the classic Toppers - any subject and also a Re-Topper. My roommate and I befriended the girl and spent a lot of time with her, and unfortunately, the boyfriend. We quickly learned about his Topping Prowess and went to work. We'd make up ridiculous stories - anything ranging from getting on stage with the Grateful Dead and Weir letting me play his guitar for Sugar Magnolia to trying to set the Gemini roller coaster track at Cedar Point on fire. He'd always have a Topper for it. One that always stood out was my roommate walking in after being at the IM building and saying that he put up 400 lbs 3 times on the bench. The guy said something along the lines of, "That's pretty good. I've never really tried to go for weight, I'm more of a rep guy. Before golf season last fall I benched 300 lbs 10 times. I probably could have gone for 12 or 13 reps, but I didn't want to strain any muscles." Aside from this being absurd for 99.99999999% of the human population, this guy was 5'10" and a buck fifty soaking wet. Yet, he told us his accomplishment with as much gusto and confidence that I'd use when ordering a sandwich at a deli.
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Old 06-21-2007, 01:10 PM   #17 (permalink)
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If she knows how to get rid of it why has she had one for a week?
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Old 06-21-2007, 01:12 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Agreed. Just telling them made up stories to see how they'll top them is pure entertainment.
couldnt agree more, these ppl just amaze me
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Old 06-21-2007, 03:24 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Old 06-21-2007, 03:43 PM   #20 (permalink)


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servo is on his way to toronto to see iron maiden right now.
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Old 06-22-2007, 06:06 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LoneWolfSparty® View Post
I've noticed that story toppers/know-it-alls tend to use the word "actually" an awful lot.
i worked with a guy who was always saying "i ****** you not...." before or after his stories. one day i started to say it after every few sentences over the most mundane things. you could tell he was getting pissed but everybody else loved it
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Old 06-22-2007, 08:29 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Wow. A whole thread devoted to Tanner and GHost and they are nowhere to be found?


****ing amazing.
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