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I told this chick at work today that I had a migraine cuz she asked what's wrong. She proceeds to try to tell me how to fix it, then goes on to tell me that she's had one for over a week now. She does this all the time, no matter the story you tell her, she has to one-up you. Does anyone know someone like this?
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Originally Posted by Owen Wilson's Nose
I dont care what you think, and I'm guessing no one in the football program does either. Keep your bra burning to yourself.
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Originally Posted by Jonathon L. Snyder
If we must have football, I want the kind that wins
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Originally Posted by Jack's Smirking Revenge
"That's an excellent question. I used to wonder about that myself. But I realize now that there are a lot of dumb, racist, conservative f***sticks in this country, and they all watch Fox News. Next question..."
I work in the contruction field, it is very common. Also, what really bugs me is the guy who says
"no, what you really need is..."
"No, that was not bad, what is really bad is..."
"No, what really hurts is.."
Anything you say, the reply starts with NO. Like what is happening to you is not important. bastard.
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I currently have nothing to say in this space. Stay Tuned.
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Originally Posted by ming I swear, the worst thing about religion is that it gives ordinarily good people an excuse to do bad things because they can simply shrug their shoulders and pin the blame on God.
and then subtly re-upping them back. pure hilarity.
i used to hate them, now i view them as an opportunity for fun!
One of the girls who lived on my dorm floor had a boyfriend who was taking the first semester off of school, moving to Florida and trying to become a professional golfer. He didn't golf much because he always seemed to be in Ann Arbor. He was one of the classic Toppers - any subject and also a Re-Topper. My roommate and I befriended the girl and spent a lot of time with her, and unfortunately, the boyfriend. We quickly learned about his Topping Prowess and went to work. We'd make up ridiculous stories - anything ranging from getting on stage with the Grateful Dead and Weir letting me play his guitar for Sugar Magnolia to trying to set the Gemini roller coaster track at Cedar Point on fire. He'd always have a Topper for it. One that always stood out was my roommate walking in after being at the IM building and saying that he put up 400 lbs 3 times on the bench. The guy said something along the lines of, "That's pretty good. I've never really tried to go for weight, I'm more of a rep guy. Before golf season last fall I benched 300 lbs 10 times. I probably could have gone for 12 or 13 reps, but I didn't want to strain any muscles." Aside from this being absurd for 99.99999999% of the human population, this guy was 5'10" and a buck fifty soaking wet. Yet, he told us his accomplishment with as much gusto and confidence that I'd use when ordering a sandwich at a deli.
I've noticed that story toppers/know-it-alls tend to use the word "actually" an awful lot.
i worked with a guy who was always saying "i ****** you not...." before or after his stories. one day i started to say it after every few sentences over the most mundane things. you could tell he was getting pissed but everybody else loved it
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Do you know a story topper?
Kristin Wiig
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