Well, it's that time again.

[IndoSpartan]

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelch!

[tKid]

please tell us you were drunk when you posted this. If not....

[Brian T.]

Originally Posted by Negotiator

My friends, though the journey has been long and strenuous, we are nearly arrived. Months has it been since we’ve cheered for touchdowns or berated our television screens with any degree of over-seriousness. It seems like ages since we’ve met for our weekly gatherings. And with the election bearing down on many of us, my friends, some of the things worth devoting time to feel like they’ve been forgotten.

Put simply, now is the time for change.

Starting this Saturday, our hope begins anew. We will see mere acquaintances and treat them as if they are our oldest friends. We will rally behind people we have never met, pursuing a goal few of us ever had any hope of achieving. We will partake in the nectars of the gods, be they foreign or domestic, canned or draft, yet still complain that they do not compare to Oberon. Except for the non-believers, who will lament that Oberon is overrated and then be shunned and ostracized until our inebriated memories forget their blasphemy ever transpired.

From the players and coaches to the band members and their directors to the students and alums there will be much analysis, almost all of it bunk. We will simultaneously jeer the likes of Valenti, Hondo, Staudt, and all the rest, chastising their commentary while silently wishing fate would bless us with jobs that enjoyable. We will skirmish with opposing teams’ message boards, demonstrating our self-perceived might to all who we think dare to oppose us.

We must always keep in mind those who have come before us, many of whom have lost their youthful appearances and the function of their livers. While they remain perpetually unsatisfied with the allure of the dance team and the enthusiasm of the students, we would do well to nod in reverence, for we will fill their shoes soon enough.

For now, though, let us all revel in the spectacle about to take place for our amusement. Twelve wonderful Saturdays in sheer irrational hatred of other educational institutions and their members. Twelve opportunities to revisit our memories of the promised land and better times. Twelve more chances to come together and celebrate the festival that is college football. And so I say to you, in the words of our forefathers and in the spirit of unity, let us descend upon East Lansing or the bar, let us cheer as one:

LET’S GO STATE!

Finding this to be quite impressive and humorous, I sent it to the other tailgaters in my group, giving full credit to the Negotiator. One of them responded with his feelings:

Fellow tailgaters, soon we will experience an autumn of Saturdays perched upon aluminum plank, seeking divine intervention that will hasten electrons through the circuitry of an unreliable digital clock. We shall shun the traditional visage of an inebriated physician who sits two rows in front of us and subsequent arrival of friends and family feigning uproarious laughter amid his juvenile antics as not to anger their drunken provider of lifestyle. Awash in the piercing chants of profanity emanating in increasing intervals from the southeast, I stand, hands clamped over ears of my progeny.

Arrives a man, his bulk clad in green paint non-perniciously applied in some secret, terrible oedipal ceremony. Does his mother know that Johnny Spirit is full grown; more horrifying, does mommy spend extra time dabbing the erogenous zones? Distracting appearance it may be, nevertheless not to be outdone by the acrid, metallic stench of the unclean.

Alas, we will pee in a trough alongside those lesser and greater than I in assembly-line efficiency broken only by the infrequent appearance of vomiting teenage boys. We will say anon to the washing of hands this day and hastily move through the doors to await our women who have themselves been plunged to the bowels of Spartan Stadium, only to obliviously return with a sheepish smile immediately after the most exciting play of the event.

Our weights sustained by bellies packed with hot dogs, ice cream cookie sandwiches and caramel corn, we ultimately bid adieu to face our impending battling against steel, asphalt, drunk-captained chariots, and sleep as we wind our way backward along the path taken so much earlier that morning.

That said, it will be good to see everyone! I can't wait! Who's bringing brats?

[spartanfan22]

Originally Posted by Negotiator

My friends, though the journey has been long and strenuous, we are nearly arrived. Months has it been since we’ve cheered for touchdowns or berated our television screens with any degree of over-seriousness. It seems like ages since we’ve met for our weekly gatherings. And with the election bearing down on many of us, my friends, some of the things worth devoting time to feel like they’ve been forgotten.

Put simply, now is the time for change.

Starting this Saturday, our hope begins anew. We will see mere acquaintances and treat them as if they are our oldest friends. We will rally behind people we have never met, pursuing a goal few of us ever had any hope of achieving. We will partake in the nectars of the gods, be they foreign or domestic, canned or draft, yet still complain that they do not compare to Oberon. Except for the non-believers, who will lament that Oberon is overrated and then be shunned and ostracized until our inebriated memories forget their blasphemy ever transpired.

From the players and coaches to the band members and their directors to the students and alums there will be much analysis, almost all of it bunk. We will simultaneously jeer the likes of Valenti, Hondo, Staudt, and all the rest, chastising their commentary while silently wishing fate would bless us with jobs that enjoyable. We will skirmish with opposing teams’ message boards, demonstrating our self-perceived might to all who we think dare to oppose us.

We must always keep in mind those who have come before us, many of whom have lost their youthful appearances and the function of their livers. While they remain perpetually unsatisfied with the allure of the dance team and the enthusiasm of the students, we would do well to nod in reverence, for we will fill their shoes soon enough.

For now, though, let us all revel in the spectacle about to take place for our amusement. Twelve wonderful Saturdays in sheer irrational hatred of other educational institutions and their members. Twelve opportunities to revisit our memories of the promised land and better times. Twelve more chances to come together and celebrate the festival that is college football. And so I say to you, in the words of our forefathers and in the spirit of unity, let us descend upon East Lansing or the bar, let us cheer as one:

LET’S GO STATE!

Since when did John McCain post in our humble little forum?

[Negotiator]

Originally Posted by spartanfan22

Since when did John McCain post in our humble little forum?

Originally Posted by Negotiator

My friends, though the journey has been long and strenuous, we are nearly arrived. Months has it been since we’ve cheered for touchdowns or berated our television screens with any degree of over-seriousness. It seems like ages since we’ve met for our weekly gatherings. And with the election bearing down on many of us, my friends, some of the things worth devoting time to feel like they’ve been forgotten.

Put simply, now is the time for change.

Starting this Saturday, our hope begins anew.

About the same time Obama did. They're desperate to take MI.