What is the rule on wedding invites

fake legs · 07-03-2009, 12:08 PM

My girlfriend and I are having a friendly debate on wedding invitation etiquette.

My argument: If you invite someone to a wedding, you should allow them to bring a guest.

Her argument: If you are running out of room and you are almost at capacity, you can prohibit the unmarried guest from bringing a date.

What say you?

vitocorleone · 07-03-2009, 12:11 PM

I'm not big on wedding etiquette..

but as someone who has been an unmarried guest at weddings...If I had to go solo, I would not be pleased.

A.M. wood · 07-03-2009, 12:11 PM

i'd say you should try to get some head out of this.

IGGcitable · 07-03-2009, 12:14 PM

No guest = no gift.

Hasta la vista, drop me a line when the divorce goes through.

Floyd Robertson · 07-03-2009, 12:16 PM

Tell her to skip the invites to the second and third cousins who probably don't GAF so there will be room for the friend to bring a guest.

MSURed · 07-03-2009, 12:16 PM

My rule of thumb is: If they're traveling to the wedding, they can bring a guest. If they have a significant other, they can bring a guest. If they're in town, single, and they know a lot of people at the wedding, you're totally fine not giving them a guest.

People obviously adjust according to their budget, but the above is pretty safe.

One of my friends was having problems with one of our mutual friends and didn't really care if she came to her wedding. She invited the friend, but not her fiance...and they live in California. That effectively ended the friendship

bluew00dy · 07-03-2009, 12:18 PM

poorly played. the only way I wouldnt be a offended if i was a late add and i was told that I can come, but i am going to be Capt Solo.

A.M. wood · 07-03-2009, 12:19 PM

what? you'll have to put one more fake leg on somebody to make up for the $14 that the dinner will cost.

takeownershiptoday · 07-03-2009, 12:19 PM

If out of town guest, seems more likely you need to allow for a guest.

fake legs · 07-03-2009, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A.M. wood

what? you'll have to put one more fake leg on somebody to make up for the $14 that the dinner will cost.

This is not my wedding.

If I was just cool enough to get on the list, but not cool enough to bring a guest... Then I would have to univite myself

This discussion started because my ex was standing in a wedding and I wasn't invited. I knew it was because we were on are way out... but my ex was standing in an Indian wedding and she said it was "part of their tradition". My girlfriend's sister married an Indian man and I needed to confirm that this wasn't part of their tradition.

FTR: Indians invite everyone to their weddings.

AUAlum06 · 07-03-2009, 12:31 PM

Flying solo at weddings pretty much sucks

WorldSpartan · 07-03-2009, 12:32 PM

The only etiquette that I know of is for the person being invited. If the invite says "Name + guest" you can bring a guest. If it just says "Name" then don't bring a guest. For the most part you should allow people to bring guests. We had a couple of late adds where we just invited them but we knew ahead of time that they weren't going to bring anyone and they were local. Also, we had a situation with my best man's divorced parents where if his dad had brought his current SO there would have been WWIII. So we just invited him with no "guest" on the invitation thinking "if he declines, he declines". He was cool about it and just showed up without the SO.

Pablo Fanque · 07-03-2009, 12:32 PM

You can "prohibit" whatever you'd like, but consider it from the guest's point of view.

If I got invited to a wedding and was not permitted to take a guest, I'd stay the eff home. Weddings are bad enough as it is. Why suffer alone?

WorldSpartan · 07-03-2009, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AUAlum06

Flying solo at weddings pretty much sucks

Not always. You can always take a shot at a cute bridesmaid or something and not worry about hurting your guest's feelings.

WorldSpartan · 07-03-2009, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fake legs

FTR: Indians invite everyone to their weddings.

Yes, exactly. She was BSing you.

AbbottHallAbsyntheDrinker · 07-03-2009, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AUAlum06

Flying solo at weddings pretty much sucks

That's relative to the number of hot, available women, of course... (assuming you're a dude).

Ezekiel P. Jebediah · 07-03-2009, 12:41 PM

1. Don't have it in the fall
2. Don't have it on a holiday weekend
3. Make sure it doesn't conflict with a Tiger game in the summer
4. May/June are bad because of Wings playoffs aspects
5. Fridays and Sundays are out
6. Too cold in winter
7. Have it at a place that is convenient for all of your guests. No destination wedding
8. Make sure you keep the ceremony short and sweet - don't want guests to get bored
9. No toasts, don't want to make the guests wait for food
10. No morning/afternoon weddings
11. Make sure a big movie isn't premiering the night of your wedding. You may have some Star Wars geeks/Harry Potter nerds on your guest list.

I could keep going but my wife is calling me.....

ConQueso™ · 07-03-2009, 12:43 PM

For our wedding anyone that had a significant other was invited with a guest. we were a little limited for capacity (tried to keep it around 150)...but we made sure that people that were coming had others with them to hang out with.

fake legs · 07-03-2009, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ezekiel P. Jebediah

1. Don't have it in the fall
2. Don't have it on a holiday weekend
3. Make sure it doesn't conflict with a Tiger game in the summer
4. May/June are bad because of Wings playoffs aspects
5. Fridays and Sundays are out
6. Too cold in winter
7. Have it at a place that is convenient for all of your guests. No destination wedding
8. Make sure you keep the ceremony short and sweet - don't want guests to get bored
9. No toasts, don't want to make the guests wait for food
10. No morning/afternoon weddings
11. Make sure a big movie isn't premiering the night of your wedding. You may have some Star Wars geeks/Harry Potter nerds on your guest list.

I could keep going but my wife is calling me.....

I think what you are trying to say is don't get married.

I totally understand college football and red wing playoffs, but if you skip my wedding to go to one of 162 baseball games played in a season... then you are a DB and I don't want you there.

Ezekiel P. Jebediah · 07-03-2009, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fake legs

I think what you are trying to say is don't get married.

I totally understand college football and red wing playoffs, but if you skip my wedding to go to one of 162 baseball games played in a season... then you are a DB and I don't want you there.

Listen dude, the wedding is not about you or your wife or your families. The wedding is all about making the single, self-important 20's and 30's crowd happy. Get a clue.

Rule Spartannia · 07-03-2009, 01:01 PM

I think it should become standard wedding ettiquette, when inviting a female to your wedding, to address the invitation to:

"Name + Guest, but only if he really wants to be there"

This cuts the guest list down, while at the same time getting countless husbands and boyfriends off the hook for weddings we couldn't give a monkey's about.

SchaumburgSparty · 07-03-2009, 01:13 PM

I didn't read all the responses but it is rude as F to invite someone without a guest. Keep in mind, not everyone will bring a guest, but to not allow them is a big ahole move

419Spartan08 · 07-03-2009, 01:34 PM

Rule #1: Don't have a mother ****ing wedding during mother ****ing college football seaon.

CA Sparty · 07-03-2009, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fake legs

My girlfriend and I are having a friendly debate on wedding invitation etiquette.

My argument: If you invite someone to a wedding, you should allow them to bring a guest.

Her argument: If you are running out of room and you are almost at capacity, you can prohibit the unmarried guest from bringing a date.

What say you?

If you have some unmarried guests who are not in a relationship (ie. they'd probably have to recruit someone to come with them), I think it is okay to explain the situation to them and ask them to just come alone. This works especially well if there are a few such folks that know each other so you can explain that Mary Jo and Steve are doing the same. Then you can have a singles table where they can sit and no one has to feel like the 3rd wheel.

But asking someone who's in a relationship to give up a week-end w/ their s/o is probably not going to go over well. Had it happened to me (my wife and I dated quite a while before getting married), I probably would have politely declined and just sent a gift. And that would be fine as well but inviting me to come a lone would have been about the same as not inviting me at all.

Enrico Palazzo · 07-03-2009, 01:43 PM

allowing a guest is fine if you really want that person there, particularly if you know there is a long term relationship there. For my wife and I we were more more concerned about keeping kids away. On our invites we wrote in the number. For example, one friend and her husband have 3 kids, we we wrote "2" on their invite. She called my mom and said that was a smart thing to do!