Funny drunk stories

[Bleedgreen93]

keep em comming

[Rocinante]

being drunk isn't funny, it's sad. you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

[badgerman27]

When I was a soph in college, I went to a party these girls were throwing at their house with a buddy of mine, and his roommates. One of his roomies had a father who managed a bar/restaurant. When the kid left for school, he stole this huge bottle of J&B Scotch. It had to be some kind of a promotional deal. It held several gallons, and was built into a pouring stand. The bottle was weighted on the bottom, so it was always upright, but it had a rod run through it for a hinge, and you tipped the neck down to pour shots out of it.

We took the bottle to the party with us, and one of his roommates was hitting it pretty hard. When we went home, the kid was so drunk he couldn't walk. He was barely conscious. The four of us carried him home on our shoulders. It was a 4-5 block walk, and we got stopped several times by curious people. "Is your friend okay?" "Oh, he's just fine. He's had a little too much to drink, that's all." It looked like the scene from Stripes, when the guys had to carry Ox back to the barracks after a day of basic training.

Has anyone here ever played Pilot to Bombardier?

[loobis]

Originally Posted by badgerman27

It's the week leading up to Christmas, and 3 of my friends and I had been drinking hard every night that week. Off work at 5, at the bar by 6, and there until 1-2. We spent as much time in the bar that we as we did working.

It's Friday night, and we're playing some foosball. Been drinking for around 4 hours, drinking pitchers. My friend Dan has to use the restroom. The door has a knob, not a swinging door. Dan take his beer with him to the bathroom. He has the beer in his right hand. He gets to the door, and looks at the knob, then at his beer. Looks at the knob, then his beer. The knob again, and he drops the glass, and it shatters on the floor. He opens the door, and walks in. His left hand was empty. He was so wiped out that he couldn't think in terms of using his left hand.

When he walked out, the entire place burst out laughing.

For some reason, this one really cracks me up.

[badgerman27]

Originally Posted by loobis

For some reason, this one really cracks me up.

It was really funny. The bar owner made Dan drink out of a plastic cup for weeks. It took a long time for people to stop giving him crap about it.

[Gob_Bluth]

338LandonHall will be able to confirm these stories.

My sophomore and junior years, our opening-round game in March fell on St. Patty's day. Sophomore year, I got back from giving a presentation around lunchtime and met up with some friends in the Landon caf. It was about 1:30 and they were already hammered. Turns out they had taken their trays to the subveyor and just dropped them down the chute.

We all ended up going upstairs and pounding beers until tipoff, about four hours' worth of focused drinking. By the time tipoff rolled around (vs. George Mason), we were all pretty close to passing out, so thankfully I have no actual memories of the game itself. Afterwards, one of my buddies lit the bulletin board in the hall on fire and tried to cover our end of the hall in toilet paper.

Junior year, essentially the same scenario except we had our own place (a ****ty duplex on Collingwood) and it was a Saturday. We were getting destroyed by North Carolina, I think, and 338Landon grabs the nearest item at hand and chucks it at our front door. He looks at me and says, "I've never seen pills explode like that before." I look at the door and our front entry is just covered in white paint. Turns out one of my roommates had some paint for a class in a container that looked like a pill bottle, and now every drop of it was covering the door/carpet/walls/etc.

[Bleedgreen93]

Originally Posted by Rocinante

being drunk isn't funny, it's sad. you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

Prohibition was like 80 years ago let it be carry nation

[Rocinante]

Originally Posted by Bleedgreen93

Prohibition was like 80 years ago let it be carry nation

your liver will thank me if you listen son....

[Bleedgreen93]

Being an alchoholic is bad having a good time every once in a while(or alot) isnt my grandmother drank like a fish and smoked like a fiend yet lived to be 79

[Negotiator]

Originally Posted by Rocinante

being drunk isn't funny, it's sad. you should all be ashamed of yourselves.

True. Some of the stuff other people do while THEY are drunk, now that's hilarious.

[Bleedgreen93]

Originally Posted by Negotiator

True. Some of the stuff other people do while THEY are drunk, now that's hilarious.

How do moderators take a lot of abuse they seem pretty cool

[Negotiator]

Originally Posted by Bleedgreen93

How do moderators take a lot of abuse they seem pretty cool

Wait for the next big meltdown. The haters have yet to really show up this season. Everyone was too suckerpunched after CMU, saw it was just one bad throw at ND, realize it was an absolutely blown call at Minn, weren't too frustrated w/Iowa, Penn State was another suckerpunch in the 3rd, and the fact we were winning in the 4th v Texas Tech kept everyone happy.

For basketball, Izzo's getting it done. Oh boohoo, we lost @ UNC and @ Texas. "Neutral court, we win that game" is the standard line.

Hockey? Shoot, we're 15-6-2, three of those losses being Wisconsin, Minnesota, and @ Miami-Ohio. Our only losses at home have been shootouts. Even the Fire Comley crowd's shut up as of late.

Guess I should change the sig then, huh.

[Bleedgreen93]

I dont get what your saying i think you read it wrong im not a hater it says in iz itrust

[Bleedgreen93]

Can i change the name of tThread to funny stories of when someone else or you get drunk

[CanManWilly]

My two friends and I got into a verbal tussle with some old guy because the idiots at Spartan Stadium put us season ticket holders in the public section. We were sitting behind some guy and his son...and we were obviously hammered. We yelled obscenities on every down and the dad started threatening us. So my buddy, who does a GREAT Christopher Walken impression, says in that voice, "Hey buddy. We are paying customers. We are just expressing ourselves you know."

Needless to say, the guy called security over and they told us to stfu.

[Bleedgreen93]

tRCMB is a great place were knowlageable sports fans and moronic idiots come together

[Bleedgreen93]

Msu a drinking school with a football problem

[janitor]

This one time, about 2000 of my classmates and I got drunk and we ripped out a stop sign. Then I ran down the street with it.

[Llyod Christmas]

i am sure there are many, i just dont remember them

[Bleedgreen93]

Originally Posted by janitor

This one time, about 2000 of my classmates and I got drunk and we ripped out a stop sign. Then I ran down the street with it.

Intresting 2000, ahh who was countin

[anagonye]

A couple years ago on halloween at state I had a friend from home come visit for the night. We got hammed and went to some party and i remember some girl asked me for a cig out front and i said yes if she showed me her tits just joking and then she did. Sweet. Anyways, me and my buddy were walking back to my house at like 3 and he says something like man i'm real hungry and as he says that i see some guy walking up to a house with a pizza coming at us on the sidewalk. I go, alright i'm gonna tackle this guy into the bush then you grab the pizza and run. So my friend says yeah and probably thinks i'm b.s-ing but sure enough i run and wreck this poor guy and the pizza just popped out. My buddy said i just layed on top of the guy and stared at him for a sec and then say "wait, your not jeremy" and then get up and run home. The best part of this is i forgot it happened until like six months later because my friend had to leave early the next morning and didnt have time to rehash. I am sorry if that was your pizza

[Drugs Delaney]

Originally Posted by Bleedgreen93

tRCMB is a great place were knowlageable sports fans and moronic idiots come together

Originally Posted by Bleedgreen93

Msu a drinking school with a football problem

I think we've found the new Death Roe.

[Kedziers St.]

Originally Posted by anagonye

A couple years ago on halloween at state I had a friend from home come visit for the night. We got hammed and went to some party and i remember some girl asked me for a cig out front and i said yes if she showed me her tits just joking and then she did. Sweet. Anyways, me and my buddy were walking back to my house at like 3 and he says something like man i'm real hungry and as he says that i see some guy walking up to a house with a pizza coming at us on the sidewalk. I go, alright i'm gonna tackle this guy into the bush then you grab the pizza and run. So my friend says yeah and probably thinks i'm b.s-ing but sure enough i run and wreck this poor guy and the pizza just popped out. My buddy said i just layed on top of the guy and stared at him for a sec and then say "wait, your not jeremy" and then get up and run home. The best part of this is i forgot it happened until like six months later because my friend had to leave early the next morning and didnt have time to rehash. I am sorry if that was your pizza

Amazing.

[fhionnlaigh]

Originally Posted by Gob_Bluth

338LandonHall will be able to confirm these stories.

My sophomore and junior years, our opening-round game in March fell on St. Patty's day. Sophomore year, I got back from giving a presentation around lunchtime and met up with some friends in the Landon caf. It was about 1:30 and they were already hammered. Turns out they had taken their trays to the subveyor and just dropped them down the chute.

We all ended up going upstairs and pounding beers until tipoff, about four hours' worth of focused drinking. By the time tipoff rolled around (vs. George Mason), we were all pretty close to passing out, so thankfully I have no actual memories of the game itself. Afterwards, one of my buddies lit the bulletin board in the hall on fire and tried to cover our end of the hall in toilet paper.

Junior year, essentially the same scenario except we had our own place (a ****ty duplex on Collingwood) and it was a Saturday. We were getting destroyed by North Carolina, I think, and 338Landon grabs the nearest item at hand and chucks it at our front door. He looks at me and says, "I've never seen pills explode like that before." I look at the door and our front entry is just covered in white paint. Turns out one of my roommates had some paint for a class in a container that looked like a pill bottle, and now every drop of it was covering the door/carpet/walls/etc.

I remember the pills!!! When the jar exploded, it looked/sounded like pills for a second, but they were turning the walls white. He walked around the rest of the night, randomly mentioning that he thought it was pills.

This was also the same duplex where a friend and I won two consecutive games of beer pong (after pregaming that night with tequila and some of Gob_Bluth's kickass margaritas). We started playing the third, and I really don't remember much of it, except that we lost spectacularly. Then I allegedly walked around for at least half an hour, giving people hugs, trying to keep people from leaving, and I vaguely remember saying some rather embarrassing things to people completely out of context of what they were talking about.

I came out of my blackout when my ber pong partner came up and told me she was gonna be sick. We holed up in the bathroom upstairs till I nearly passed out. In going to get her roommate, I fell down the stairs in front of everyone, didn't even acknowledge I'd done so, got her roommate, went back upstairs, and passed out outside of the bathroom. Apparently while I was passed out, the guy I'd briefly dated a while before passed out next to me, literally two feet from his bedroom door. I wasn't even aware. Ended up waking up sometime later needing to puke, and my friend was still draped over the toilet. I remember saying something to the effect of, "move over, it's my turn."

We shared. It was gross. Quite the bonding experience . . . I think I may have given away my offline identity to some with this story.

[The Dancing Bear]

Originally Posted by Drugs Delaney

I think we've found the new Death Roe.

Yeah. I don't really like this new guy either.